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Once again, I got hurt. And by who? By the bastard who I thought would be different from my mother. Guess I was wrong. And I thought, truly and honestly, that he wouldn't do the same thing my mother did. That he'd be the better parent. And for a split second it seemed that way. But now I know that's fake. My mother only wants me to control me and my father wants nothing to do with me. And that hurts more than anything. To know the people you hold highest in your life could give a shit about how you feel or what you think. Because it's all about them. It's all about pleasing them.
I didn't think I was asking too much to just think about how I feel at times. But once again I was wrong. I feel so sick. Like I just got beat down again. And I don't want to continue on like this. I can't. It's too much. I thought I could control how things are but I can't. I'm alone. And it hurt.


Fuck I suck so much.